Mashed Potatoes, God, and Cheerleaders.

This is my Thanksgiving post... even though I am a bit early. I have mixed feelings about thanksgiving, it has great intent but I think it's a stress holiday (as most are). Why must we have a gigantic meal to be thankful? Don't get me wrong, if it were possible I would marry mashed potatoes... and then I would have an affair on them with gravy. I just think it's a bit silly. Often the ones preparing the meal are stressed out and they work in a hot kitchen all day... Can't we just have some Top Ramen and be thankful? And all of you Black Friday haters... I get it. It's silly to shop after you just gave thanks. But seriously? It's a wonderful shopping excursion. This is my guff with Thanksgiving; I don't need a certain day to tell me to be thankful. 

Nonetheless, as thanksgiving nears I am one thankful gal. I have said it many times; nursing school is hard. Oh. My. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. And each semester I think there is NO way it can get harder, and then it does. This past week has been heart wrenching. Nothing to do with patients or assignments... It's the people. As a class, we have grown together and became a family. We have been through births of babies, funerals, marriages, divorces, cancer, etc. It is so painful to watch those you care about go through such difficult trials. It is also nearing semester end so it is crunch time. We are all highly stressed trying to finish care plans, etc. Everyone has their breaking point, and I had mine this week.

I get so wrapped up in other's trials. I want to fix it. Let me beat someone up, let me put a bandaid on the hurt, let me medicate you, let me do SOMETHING! And for most of life's most painful experiences, there is not a dang thing I can do. It is seriously one of my worst qualities. While it is important to have empathy, I get so down about other people's hurts. I worry about it constantly, I don't sleep, etc. So, I had a lot of this crap piled on my shoulders this week and I couldn't take it anymore. I finally sent a message to someone I think the world of, and she happens to be a previous professor of mine. She works hospice, so I know she has had experience with not being able to fight other's battles. 

It was one of the best conversations I have ever had and some of the best advice I have ever been given. She said the hardest lesson she has learned in life is letting go. She explained that these people going through such difficult problems, have to do it alone. It is life. It will force them to turn to Heavenly Father and he is in fact, the only one who can help them. Being a listening ear is important, but you cannot throw the punches for other people. Two people have control over life situations; the one who is in the situation and God. I felt inadequate because as nurses, we see A LOT of sadness and I started to become concerned. I thought that maybe I wouldn't be able to be a nurse because the hurt would eat me alive... This wonderful mentor of mine reminded me that is not true. I'm just a sucker for a sad story... that's all.

One step in front of the other, that's all you can do. We made a deal; basically it's one day at a time, and we will both get there. "You can do it. We got this." Those were her exact words. 

So here's my conclusion; I am SO THANKFUL for mashed potatoes. Although, I am even more thankful for all of the cheerleaders in my life. I couldn't get through this without them. I am so thankful that this person is always giving me the greatest pep talks. My heart is so full. I am grateful that people are so invested in me and my life but at the end of the day, they let go and give the rest to God. So, I will put one foot in front of the other and take one step at a time... and I will throw up a few prayers to the big man because I KNOW he is the one who will have his children's backs. I will never bail on the people I care about, ever. But I know I can only be a cheerleader, I can't fight in others' corners, but Heavenly Father can and he will. 

Happy Thanksgiving.

This is what's up right now.

Hey blogger world. I'm home, sick. It sucks. I'm bored out of my mind so of course I end up on my blog and discover how sad and lonely it has been. I also realized I never blogged about Sugarland that happened LAST year. Oh well, it will come when the time is right. 

I love October, Halloween, beautiful colors, crisp nights. It could be a tad warmer for my taste, but it's okay. The older I get, the more I like fall. I used to be an exclusive summer girl. Now I'm branching out to fall. And winter during December is okay, but January-April? Gross.

School is flying by, I'm getting burnt out. Not on the principles, but the drama. I try to stay out of it, it is at it's worst but I learned my lesson during the summer semester. It took over my life. I worried about it constantly, even when I was home. It started to affect my life so much that it was taking away from my relationships. I was always preoccupied in my brain. Not anymore, I leave the room when everyone starts to talk drama. It helps that I am in the NSNA (a national nursing club) and it keeps me busy with meetings and such. So while I am at campus, I'm actually REAAALLLLY busy. Sometimes I don't even get a chance to check my cellphone for hours. I'm really trying to focus more than usual in class, as this is my last semester of nursing theory and when I'm not in lecture, I'm usually in a meeting.

Sleep. What a beautiful thing. I have always had a hard time sleeping, my entire life. I tried meditation, relaxation techniques, etc. I really didn't want to get on medication but I finally tried it. To my disappointment, it worked for a few months but stopped. I was taking 7 pills of different over the counter medicines with prescription to go to sleep every night and I still wasn't sleeping. I was tired... really tired. It made me feel like I was going crazy-literally. I also didn't like putting all of the crap into my body. So, I went back to the doctor. We tried a more aggressive medication, which I wasn't too thrilled to try. But it works. I am soooo thankful. I feel like I new woman. I feel SO much better during the day and have much more energy. 

I've had tickets to the P!NK concert since March, and the concert was today. I was so nervous and upset because I am quite sick, and going to a concert while sick just didn't sound too fun. But there was no way I was missing it... Luckily, P!NK cancelled. She is on vocal rest. Thankfully, she rescheduled. The concert will be the 29th. I got so lucky. I will feel better by then and it's a miracle it didn't get scheduled on a clinical day for school, which I couldn't miss. It worked out so well, I'm very happy and relieved!

I am the worst patient, I have no patience for being sick. And of course it happens on my week where I have several days off. I guess that's a good thing? I don't know. Here's to hoping I feel better soon!

MAKE IT SLOW DOWN! Pllleeeaaasseee?

Holy cow! I'm slightly in panic mode. Make it all slow down... time. I'm in my 4th semester of the nursing program. 4 out of 5. And next week is the mid-semester mark for my 4th semester. That means I only have 1 1/2 semesters left and I'm responsible to care for human life... graduation. WWOAHH! No. Slow down, please. I never thought I would want it to slow down, but I do. I love nursing school. It is brutal and I'm not a lover of med/surg but I love nursing. I was just talking to one of my professors and she was saying "it seems like you guys just started yesterday". It really does seem like yesterday. This year has gone by faster than any others and I'm not so sure I like it. It's good and bad, I suppose. Crazy. 

It sure makes you realize to love every second of every day. That's a really hard thing to do, but maybe a better way to put it is; be present and experience each day at its fullest. 

Happy October!!!!!!!!!!! My favorite. It's the most wonderful time of the year, no doubt!!!

I've had the majority of my Halloween decorations up for a week now, but I'm still adding a few things here and there. LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!

Soapbox... Again!

Hello everybody! It's the end of the day and I just wanted to write a quick little note. Today was National Suicide Prevention Day... You can bet your bottom dollar I wouldn't let a day like today slide by without my two cents! As you know, I work with those who are suicidal. I am also in nursing school and I LOVE psych nursing as well as community health/education. So of course, I get REALLY excited when suicide is talked about in public. It needs to be talked about! And if you know me at all, I LOVE to break the silence and that also applies to my work. So here I am... Just wanted to say that lately I have seen suicide and drug abuse (which plays a large role in suicide) talked about in the public more than EVER! THIS IS AWESOME! WAHOO! Let's talk about it and get rid of it!!! I apologize that I don't have better links... It's been a long day and I am supposed to be studying but I just had to write a quick post. 

First, if you haven't heard about "Run For Recovery", you need to. I can assure you, I will never, ever, ever talk about running on this blog unless it is for a good cause... and this is for a great cause! If you or someone you know struggles with addiction, check out Run For Recovery. I think it is an AWESOME movement!

Second, suicide has been talked about more and more on the news lately. I think this is great. I couldn't find the link I wanted, but just the other day I saw on ksl a great article about suicide. I am just happy it is being talked about. Talking about it is the FIRST step in doing something about it. 

Third, this link http://www.ksl.com/?sid=26805911&nid=148&title=traumatic-brain-injuries-linked-to-higher-suicide-rates&fm=home_page&s_cid=queue-2 talks about TBI's (traumatic brain injuries) and the relation to suicide. Those with brain injuries (not just soldiers!) need help before it gets to the suicide stop. As always, if you or someone you know is experiencing any of these problems... get help! Contact your primary care provider. If you have any questions, I would of course be happy to address those. And finally, if you or someone you know is experiencing any of these situations as a crisis right now, go to the nearest emergency room, they will surely help you there! 

Be safe everyone! 

I promise I will blog about light-hearted things soon!! Stay tuned! :)

I don't know about you, but I'm feelin' 22!

August 11th brought me to the ripe old age of 22. I'm getting old and I reallllllly miss my teens. 22 sounds like I should be responsible and grown up and I'm really far from that, so talking about my age makes me think too much. I go down the "shoulda, coulda, woulda" road, and that's always a dead end. Regardless, I had a great birthday. It amazes me at how many people remembered me and made my day so special. I got birthday wishes from family, friends, teachers, fellow classmates, etc. It worked out perfectly, I didn't work the entire weekend and I am on break in between semesters so I had nothing that I was obligated to. It was a great day and since my actual day of birth was on a Sunday, we celebrated all weekend long. I had people decorate my car, window marker the windows on my house, etc. Wow. I love all of you and I really appreciate all of the special ways you wished me a happy birthday. If you know me, you know I don't exactly have a love of Taylor Swift nonetheless, the theme song of the entire weekend was "22" by Taylor Swift, of course. We probably listened to it one hundred times. Saturday, I had the best meal I've had all year... crab dinner. Yum! Then we took off to Nevada and celebrated in Wendover. It was a fun time. Lots of virgin pina coladas, loud music, and laughing. I stole two cups from the casino and I am quite proud of it. I technically paid for them since I lost 20$. Haha, oh heck. It was fun! I don't mean to get all cheesy, but I really do have the BEST friends ever. They did so much and I had a fantabular birthday celebration! Love them to pieces!!

It's Official

It's official... who read that and thought I was going to say that I was pregnant? Haha, this is what working on labor and delivery does to you. Everything is about babies and the downtown area. But I digress...

I am not pregnant, no way Jose. I am however, done with my third semester in the nursing program. Finals were today. I went to bed at 3 am and woke up at 5 am. Then I took four finals. Woof. Good thing I discovered a pink lemonade energy drink a few days ago. WOAH NELLY, I need to get off of the juice. I don't drink energy drinks but the past few weeks I have slowly started to partake. Then today... oh man. I drank one on my way to class in the morning and on my lunch break. Too much. I was having heart palpitations and shaking like a leaf. Needless to say; I am not tired at all!! Finals are over... this semester is over. Bittersweet. It went by SO fast. Nothing in my life has ever gone by that fast. It feels like a dream. At the same time, the drama made it feel like I was in a 5 year long bad relationship and now my divorce is finalized. Just like a bad marriage... it ends and it's bittersweet. I have a 3 week break... my summer starts now! Three semesters down, only two to go... hold on tight!

Deep Breath & Lots of Swear Words

Holy crap on a spatula! Life is freaking me out. Next week is finals week. My third semester in the nursing program is coming to a close. I'm more than halfway done. I only have two semesters left and I will be graduating at the end of April, being a Registered Nurse. YIKES! This semester has been the best and the most difficult. Funny how that happens. I have discovered what area I want to go into. I LOVE labor and delivery nursing. I have assisted in two vaginal births, and three c-sections. What an amazing experience. I also LOVE psychiatric nursing. I loved my time at Utah State Hospital. I got lucky and got put on the unit that was meant for me and my learning style. The psychiatrist was amazing, she taught me so much, working with her made me WANT to go on and get my master's degree, specializing in psychiatric nursing. I am struggling right now letting go. I finally got to a point with some of my patients where they let me in and trusted me. I worked mostly with young adult girls who had severe eating disorders and/or severe post-traumatic stress disorder. Most of these girls have been severely abused so trust is a big step for them. I was so invested in their recovery... and I will never know the outcome because I was a student and I completed my clinical hours. I have never been more passionate about anything (besides my love for family/friends and the gospel), I love nursing. I love helping others. I love being there for my patients, through the good and the bad. Seeing a mother bring a new baby into this world is amazing. Seeing a patient start on the path to healing and get her feeding tube out is amazing. I love my patients and I love this work. I don't know what exactly I will specialize in, but it will be either labor and delivery or psychiatric nursing. I would also enjoy teaching.

Like I said, this semester has been the best because it's been focused on my two favorite areas that I am most interested in; labor and delivery and psych. This semester has also been the most difficult. Like any family, there is drama. We are like a family at school. Teachers and students... we spend so much time together in life or death situations (literally) and that creates a special bond that you can't find anywhere else. You have to trust your professors and fellow students because you are working side by side with them on the floor. Sometimes we fight like siblings... it has been a semester full of drama and politics. They always say that third semester in nursing is the semester that everyone loses it. Oh boy, is that true. It's packed full of emotions. You are assisting in bringing life into this world... which is usually a very happy emotion. You are also working psych and you hear about very horrific abuse... that is a very difficult emotional experience to overcome. It's also the halfway mark semester... which is scary because you discover, the more you go to school, the more you realize you don't know very much. It's just been a really tough semester.

I'm random and weird... and one particularly hard day, I said "deep breath and lots of swear words". That has stuck... it is my motto to get through nursing school. It's even spread over to other classmates and my professor. One day at a time.

Also, my teacher who basically raised us, will not be teaching us next semester. We got really lucky... you never get the same instructor all three semesters because they usually only teach one subject. It just worked out that she stepped up and decided to teach med/surg 1 and foundations even though her specialty is labor and delivery which she taught this semester. It will be hard, but healthy to learn other teaching styles. I know she will still help us if we need it. I have never had a teacher who has been so invested. She helped us study for a history class (one of our generals for the associates degree) that wasn't even her class to teach. I know that I can always go to her and she will help me succeed! Next semester is med/surg 2 and pharmacology 2. I'll be honest... medical/surgical nursing is not my favorite. So I'm not really looking forward to next semester and not having our instructor will be difficult. She knows us and we know her. She knows each of our individual learning styles and I feel comfortable around her to ask even my dumb questions. It will be a difficult few weeks adjusting.

Honestly, there were a few times during this semester where I thought about giving up. Let's be real here... I did WANT to give up. But I didn't... It was a really hard semester for many reasons, most of which are too detailed to go into. I have decided that I'm going back to the basics. I need to remember why I got into nursing in the first place; I wanted to make a difference. Even if it is a small difference in my patients lives, that is why I got into nursing. I need to focus on that and take one day at a time. Nursing school is the hardest thing I have ever done. It sounds kind of silly because it's just school... but it is a very unique experience. Nursing school challenges you in every possible way. Physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Change is hard, but worth it. I am growing and evolving in ways I never thought I could. Here we go... on to another semester. 

Deep breath, lots of swear words, and here we go!

Loooooooong but rewarding.

Long day. Clinicals at the Utah State Hospital (USH) which is Utah's largest long-term psychiatric facility. This place is huge. They have different buildings classifying patients. Forensic units for the criminally insane, child units (boys & girls), and several adult units. I am on an adult unit. Most people are severely schizophrenic, bipolar, or psychotic. A few have no psychosis whatsoever... those people have severe PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and/or eating disorders. Most eating disorder and PTSD patients are barely 18 years old, which makes them be on an adult unit which is hard, they are so young! I will 100% admit that I enjoy working with these patients the most. Although, it is probably the most draining. I sit in treatment team meetings for most of the day, which consist of the Psychiatrist (She is awesome!), the nurse, social worker, and of course, the patient. It is basically a mini therapy session where we discuss what is currently going on with the patient and goals for the month. My day consists of these meetings with patients and playing games with patients... oh and of course, addressing feeding tube placements, vital signs, and general health concerns. It's hard, you get attached to patients. I work on the same unit every time I am there and I have bonded with a few patients. It's difficult to talk about suicide attempts all day long and all of the many ways these people hurt themselves. It's so hard to watch people go through these things! At the end of the day, I am so emotionally exhausted. Nevertheless, it is rewarding work. Even though I have yet to win at foosball or phase 10. ;)

I have to say, I am seriously considering continuing my education with getting my master's degree and becoming a psychiatric nurse practitioner. NEVER in a million years would I have guessed "master's degree" would come out of my mouth!!!!!!!!!! I really enjoy working with this population (most days). We'll see... delivering babies is pretty cool too. I wouldn't mind teaching either. That's the great thing about nursing, there are SO many directions to go!

The other day we did a simulation lab and delivered a baby out of a manikin. Isn't that rad? Our manikin's at school are like real people. It's a little freaky... They breathe, talk, birth babies, you can place IV's on them, etc. The instructor controls the manikin from a computer to make it do whatever they want it to. They can make it have a heart attack, go into labor with a cord wrapped around the baby's neck, etc. It's pretty awesome!

My advice after my day at the State Hospital... Be nice to people, you never know what they have been through. Oh, and don't do drugs. Most importantly- People do change, give them time! 

Everyone stay hydrated in this hot fourth of July weather!! :)

Just Another Day At The Office- Delivering Babies.

Holy crap on a spatula. I helped deliver two babies on Tuesday. Whoa. It was amazing. I will be totally honest, I have always been interested in labor and delivery nursing. BUT, I also used to think that all of the high-maintenance, blonde, froo-froo nurses worked on L&D. I considered it almost "simple nursing". Shame on me!! My instructor that I just love and that I have talked about before, worked on L&D for years then got her masters and started teaching. She is amazing. As are the nurses who currently work on L&D. I don't think I have ever learned so much in my life during a clinical. It was baptism by fire. Oh.... Let me tell you all one very important thing... Doctors don't do crap except catch the baby. Nurses are the ones who are REALLY taking care of you, just sayin'. I don't hate doctors, I promise. I just think they get way more credit than nurses, and that isn't quite accurate. Those nurses are SO smart and they seriously have their patient's back. 

The first baby that I helped deliver had the cord wrapped around his little neck and had some breathing problems for the first few minutes of life. Thankfully, he is fine and so is mom. It is a different kind of experience to deliver someone's child. That is a very personal experience; to be all up in someone's junk (sorry-true), counting them through contractions as they grip the crap out of your arm, talking the dad through it just as much as mom so he doesn't pass out, and holding that sweet little baby after he is born, is SO AMAZING! I will never, ever forget that. 9:57 on Tuesday, June 25th I had my first experience as a Labor & Delivery nurse. I get such an adrenaline rush just thinking about it!! I am proud to call myself a nursing student who will soon be a nurse. I have worked side by side with the most amazing people, and I have had some awesome patients!

Along with pediatrics, mom/baby, and labor and delivery, I am also doing psych clinicals. Some at UVRMC and some at the Utah State Hospital. LOVE it. I find myself really enjoying working with the psychiatrist with the eating disorder patients although, it is emotionally taxing. The psychiatrist at the State Hospital is amazing, she is so real with her patients and a great teacher! I'm thinking of getting my masters and becoming a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner. I know, laugh all you want. A crazy becoming a psychiatric nurse practitioner? At least I will understand my patients! ;) We will see... I am really loving labor and delivery as well! Such a great summer semester! Busy... I am at the hospital 48 hours a week and in class for 8 hours a week, then homework and that thing called a social life, oh and sleep...what's that? But I really do love it! Summer needs to sloooooooooooow down so I can take all of this in!!!!!!!

Father's Day.

Father's Day ride... My dad's motorcycle and my scooter (with my bright pink helmet which my dad MAKES me wear... which is a good thing, I'm glad he's still looking out for me even though I'm 21).

I don't usually write too much about my parents and family. Mostly because they are so near and dear to my heart and sometimes they drive me absolutely crazy. So I either would write way too mushy/lovey dovey stuff or I would rant and rave about them. ;) 

My dad has taught me so many things over the years. I get my stubborn, hard-headed personality from him. We don't see eye to eye on everything and that's mostly because we are both so stubborn. I was a daddy's girl growing up. I was always following him around, watching him fix trucks and work on the house. He can fix almost anything and I have learned how to use those skills to my advantage. When I was little, he let me eat his food even though I had my own plate... for some reason, his tasted better and he always let me munch his food. He has taught me how to take apart a carburetor and clean it, which will almost make any old motorcycle run. My dad can come off a little harsh and scary, but he would do anything to help people; he would literally give someone the shirt off of his back if they needed it. He taught me how to stream fish. I also inherited his love for motorcycles. I also inherited my temper from my father. Which isn't always a bad thing... I would go to war to protect the people I care about; if you mess with them, you mess with me. Unfortunately as I've got older, I've also inherited his potty mouth... Which I don't always think is a bad thing; deep breaths and lots of swearing is a great stress-reliever! :) I remember when I was little, he would tell me bedtime stories and they were always about treasure hunters, I loved it! He taught me how to start a fire and still to this day, I can start a fire quicker and more efficiently than most boys, haha! I am his youngest child and he is very protective of me, I will always be 10 years old in my dad's eyes. I know that he will always be looking out for me, no matter my age... I love that. My dad is a funny guy and he has a great sense of humor which I think has rubbed off on me. He makes the BEST sandwiches and chocolate milk. I love my pops!

STRAWBERRY DAYS WEEK! YEEHAW!!!!

AHHHH!! STRAWBERRY DAYS is here already. I can't believe it is here. In case you have been really deprived all of your life and don't know; Strawberry Days is Pleasant Grove City's celebration.Time is flying by, my brain is still stuck in March and here we are in June. I want summer to slow down a little! I am so excited for Strawberry Days. It is my FAVORITE holiday, even though technically it's not a holiday. It is bigger than Christmas for me, minus the Jesus part. I absolutely love it!!!! I am planning to show those strawberries & cream who's boss and set a new record. Delicious! And the rodeo! Oh, the rodeo!! I LOVE the rodeo, it's my favorite part of Strawberry days. 

Strawberry Days is my absolute favorite part of summer.... Heck, it's my favorite part of the whole year!!!!!!!!!!! Sheesh, I am like a 5 year old on Christmas morning. I hope you all take advantage of the parade, rodeo, carnival corn dogs (don't judge me) and of course, the strawberries and cream. I will be celebrating alllllllllllllllll week long, I'm so excited! Everyone have a fantabular week full of celebration!!

Grateful

I know this blog is becoming a "nursing school" blog and for that I apologize, but it is where I am at in life. Everything in my life right now is devoted to nursing school, that is why it is all I talk about it.

Without going into too much detail, the past few weeks have been really difficult. There has been a lot of drama at school. This is our 3rd semester (out of 5) and it is our heaviest load. When push comes to shove; people get vicious. Everyone is constantly stressed. It is like we are all sinking in quick sand, so we are grabbing onto others and pulling them down with us. There has been a lot of gossiping and back biting. Thankfully, after we had what I like to call a "come to Jesus", everything is all good for the time being. A "come to Jesus" is when you talk it out, things get ugly, but then the problem is resolved. Our professor confronted the entire class and addressed the gossiping and it seemed to slow down for a few days. Then, the other day during my clinicals at the Utah State Hospital (which I really enjoyed, I will blog about it later), I heard some rumors starting involving someone that I am very close to. So... me having the temper that I do, I flipped out and gave them hell. Although I probably should have waited until I calmed down to prevent the overuse of curse words; I am happy to say I got things off of my chest and everything is good. I confronted the person that I needed to confront about the rumors, we had it out, and now we are fine. 

Nursing school is EXACTLY like family. Some days you cannot stand your fellow classmates, you fight and things get ugly, but at the end of the day everyone loves everyone and there are no grudges. We are like brothers and sisters. 

I wanted to write this post to express how grateful I am. I never in a million years thought I would be in the place that I am. My life has changed drastically in the past year. I have grown in so many ways; not only in my education, but also personally. I am SOOOOO grateful for my classmates and my professors. It is really difficult to describe the bond that I have with my cohort, it is something I have never experienced before. They have become family and I love their guts... even if sometimes I want to punch them in the face. :)

I am so blessed to have the life that I have and to be where I am at in life!!

You know you're in nursing school when...

This is a picture of part of my class in our "isolation precautions" equipment. Love these people! Can you find me? I'm on the right end.

Another picture of only part of the class... We love throwing surprise birthday parties for our professors!

You know you're in nursing school when...

You go out to lunch with your class and other costumers ask to be moved because we are talking "potty talk". 

You talk about poop, pee, vomit, snot, blood, etc. while eating and it doesn't even phase you. 

Other people tell you that you're a pervert and you respond with, "it's a natural bodily function". 

You look at gross pictures of nasty wounds with excitement.

You ask people in casual conversation about their bathroom habits. (I could get SO MUCH MORE graphic with this one, but I will refrain...)

You are secretly analyzing everyone you talk to for diseases and/or psychological behavioral tendencies. 

You completely lose your filter and talking about sex, bathroom functions, and infected body parts just isn't awkward anymore.

You think most doctors are big jerks and the nurse is really the one saving your life.

You trust your professors/classmates so much that you will let them cut open an old scar to remove the gravel still stuck in it.

You have a nursing diagnosis for almost everything.

You talk about tying people down (restraining) and getting yelled at as "just another day at the office".

Sleep is a luxury.

You realize that everyone could be diagnosed somewhere on the spectrum of mental illness.

You have been through divorce, marriage, children being born, family members dying, etc. with your classmates because they become your family.

You would go to war for the good of your patient because "patient advocate" is ingrained into your heart and mind. 

You feel like when you wear jeans, you are "dressing up" because you are always in scrubs.

You put your hands in other people's orifices every. single. day.

You wash your hands so much that they are constantly cracking.

You get home from clinical and want to take a bath in hand sanitizer. 

You take sick pleasure in embarrassing your professors. (Our favorite is yelling in the packed cafeteria at the hospital, "hey good lookin', take it off!" Hehe.

You get a day off and you have no idea what to do with yourself.

You lose your shy behavior and replace it with a volume increase in your voice. (Nursing students are LOUD and I'm not quite sure why...)

You get to clinical at 4:00am pumping with adrenaline with your ironed uniform, bright white nursing shoes, name badge, and stethoscope wrapped around your neck. (The rules are VERY military-like in the nursing program, we all look the EXACT same!)

And that is what it's like to be a nursing student!

May is almost over!

I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend, I sure did! Fishing with great friends!

I say this all the time... but it is so crazy how fast time goes by. School is getting out, that is NUTZ-O! I've been graduated for 4 years. Holy crap on a spatula. I am old. I feel like I haven't done much with my life in the past 4 years, sigh. As school is getting out and everyone is starting to enjoy summer, I'm busier than I have ever been in my entire life and most days I'm lucky if I get outside to feel how warm or cold it is. My time is spent driving, in classrooms, and of course, at the hospital. But it's good... learning so much stuff. Everyday my mind gets totally blown. I had orientation today at Utah State Hospital (psychiatric facility). We do our psych clinicals at UVRMC and at the Utah State Hospital. LOVED my first clinical at UVRMC. Psych nursing rocks. Orientation today at USH was interesting... I'm glad I have a little background in the psych department with my job because if I didn't, I would be pretty overwhelmed and nervous, like many of my classmates are. For most of the day, we heard many stories of how patients have escaped, stabbed employee's (you know, the usual), and we went through many safety interventions.

We had the opportunity to do a simulation of what it is like to be schizophrenic. Very interesting, and very scary. We wore headphones that played a recording of many voices. Most voices are VERY negative. While we listed we had to do certain simple tasks. It was so difficult. It made me sad. Sad that so many people struggle with this horrible disease. It also helped me understand many of my patient's behaviors better. The woman who developed the simulation has her PhD in Psychology and she has the diagnosis of schizophrenia. I am amazed by this woman and all of her achievements with such a debilitating disease. It was a really big eye opener and a great experience. I am slightly nervous to do clinicals at the USH... they house most of the criminally insane, high profile cases that we hear on the news. They also house many people who are not that severe. It will be interesting and I know that I will learn a lot. 

Anyway, not too much new with me... just the usual, crazy!

Clarification

As I sit in the most boring history class on the face of the earth, my mind is racing (as it often does). I just wanted to clarify my last post about exercise and facebook. You can post all you want on facebook about eating healthy and your workout. I was merely stating my opinion, and I will continue to stand by what I said. Regardless, don't let me (or anyone else, for that matter) stand in your way of doing what you want. If you like to post things about your workout routine, then so be it. As for me, I think it's the wrong place to do that sort of thing. Mostly because mine would say something like... Ran a few yards today, almost died, sweating profusely. Haha! My intention was definitely NOT to offend or hurt anyone's feelings. Do whatever suits your fancy and floats your boat. :)

Have a lovely day blogger world!

My Workout

First off, let me just say that with this post I will probably offend someone. Please, please, please know that is NOT my intent. I love you, no matter what... Even if you are that person who tells me what you ate for every meal and how many calories you burned during your workout, I still love you and you are still a great person. :)

Health. I study health, medicine, and the human body everyday. So yes, I am "pro-health". I am not as healthy as I would like to be and I have great respect for those that run miles and miles everyday, and eat a healthy diet. It is okay to post things you are passionate about, and I understand that some people are passionate about their diet and exercise routine. Although, sometimes people go a bit overboard on pinterest and facebook. It's about balance, as is everything else in life. I struggle with balance in many areas of my life, so I'm just as guilty as everyone else. I could rant about this all day long, instead I will post a few quotes that make my point. And no, these quotes are not from my mouth but I wholeheartedly agree!

"Unless you stole it, eating food should feel guilt free. I'm all about being healthy, but I'm tired of seeing "guilt free" recipes show up on my pin feed. Eating food, no matter what the caloric intake, is not a moral act. You are no better or worse whether you eat birthday cake for breakfast or high fiber bran cereal."

"I need to be skinnier love myself."

"Unless you fell off of the treadmill and smacked your face, no one wants to hear about your workout."

And that ladies and gentlemen, that is my workout. ;)

Right Here

"Be where you are, not where you think you should be".

This, right here, in life. . . this is exactly where I want to be. This past year has been the most difficult for me, personally and professionally. I have made a lot of changes in my personal life and in my educational life. And I am so happy! It has been a year full of struggles and it continues to be, but it is so beautiful. I love where I am at in my life. I couldn't ask for anything better. I am sooo blessed! I try to put my expectations of where I think I should be at in life right now, behind me. My hope each day is to only expect that I am present and in the moment, instead of just getting through the day. I am engaged in my life and I am learning to embrace all of the good, with the bad. Things are far from perfect yet, they are so perfect. I have faced trials that have challenged every single part of me. My logic, my emotions, my body, my brain, my values, my relationships, my fears, my failures, my triumphs. . . they have all been challenged. Changing and evolving is a struggle, but it is such a beautiful struggle.

Kip Moore Concert

I hate this picture of myself with a passion, but it has to be documented that I met Kip Moore.

Right before the devil sickness hit me, Caecee, Zach, and I went to the Kip Moore concert. Kip Moore is a country singer who is pretty new. It was a small show at a club in Salt Lake, and the tickets were cheap. It turned out that somehow Zach's brother was friends with the lady who picked Kip up from the airport. Through that connection, we got meet and greet tickets for free!!! Can you believe that? We are soooo lucky! So we were on the very front row in the pit, and we got to meet him. Kind of a funny coincidence, the security guard that was standing right in front of us, was the same security guard who was standing in front of us at the SugarLand concert when we were on the front row. Haha, we're getting to be buddies with the security guard. I think one of my most embarrassing moments happened at this concert. Kip Moore was singing some song about breaking up with a girl and he decided to talk to me. I looked away because I was embarrassed, so he proceeded to tell me to make eye contact with him. I could feel my face turn a dark red from the embarrassment, it was great! It turned out to be such a fun night. He is pretty talented, and reallllllly good to look at. The show was GREAT, definitely worth more than 30$. It was better than most shows that I've seen and paid much more for. We had a lot of fun!!

April Fool's Day

Oh heck, April Fool's Day. My FAVORITE! I live for practical jokes, and a day dedicated to pranks? Freaking fabulous. I was in class all day on Monday, April 1st. And the great thing was, I was in my med/surg class. My awesome teacher who is basically my Cohort's adviser and also taught my very first nursing class last semester, teaches med/surg (and labor&delivery-next semester, yay!) We have spent A LOT of time together and she knows us so well, as do we know her so well. She is the reason most of us are still in nursing school, she is our cheerleader as well as a great teacher. Professor England is her name, sometimes we refer to her as Doctor England as a joke, because she has her masters in nursing and she's basically a doctor with all of her knowledge. Let me tell you... We played the funniest prank on her, that I have EVER played on someone (and I've played a lot of pranks in my day). BUT I will have to SAVE that story for a whole separate blog post, because it was just that good. We played that prank last semester, not on April Fool's Day. We've actually played a lot of pranks on her, not on April Fool's day. . . haha, good times!

Anyway, back on topic... April Fool's Day. Saran wrap. Yes! Med/surg class is 3 1/2 hours long, so we get two 10 minute breaks. Perfect opportunity. A fellow student supplied the most giant roll of saran wrap that I have ever seen. Being the hellion-students that we are, we ran out to the parking lot during one of our breaks and found her car. Yep, we covered the entire thing, top to bottom with saran wrap. Then we hurried inside and wrapped her podium that has the computer to control the slides for lecture on it. So. . . break is over, she walks in and goes to the front of the classroom to her podium. . . "What the??" she says as we all bust up giggling. It took her a good 5 minutes to cut all the saran wrap off. Next break. . . we have a lookout that confirms she went into the bathroom. LUCKILY, her office that you have to have a code to get into, was open. Another professor was in there and we asked if she could keep a secret, she just giggled and agreed. We wrapped Professor England's office chair and keyboard in saran wrap. And I'm not talking a little saran wrap, we did millions of layers. It was so hilarious. Then, we hurried back into the classroom for the remaining lecture. At some point, we needed markers to write on the board, so she had to go into her office to get them. . . that's when we heard in her loud Canadian accent "Seriously!?!" and she started to laugh. You kind of had to be there to understand how hilarious it was, but it was sooooooooo funny. I think the funniest part was, she still had no idea that her car was covered in saran wrap, and there was no way she was getting in it without ripping it all off. We couldn't stop giggling all throughout class just thinking of her car covered in saran wrap and she had no idea. She kept asking "What the heck are you guys laughing at?" and that just made us laugh harder. At the end of class, we said "What time do you leave? Because you might want to leave before dark and you might want us to walk out with you. Oh, and bring some scissors". She just gave us that look. . . you know, the "Are you freaking kidding me?" look. Most of the class was already outside waiting to see her come out. A few of us walked out with her, and you have to know this guy. . . but he just makes it more funny by saying to us "Is she coming?" and Professor England was standing right next to us. Hahahaha. She saw her car and busted up laughing and called us "little $h*t's", that seems to be her word for us. She's a religious person too, but sometimes that curse word is the only way to describe how annoying we are, haha! We helped her cut all of the saran wrap off of her car and there was a giant ball of it by the time we were done. Then, we decided to saran wrap her. Yep, we hurried and started going around her with the wrap, wrapping her up. It only lasted a few seconds because we all started laughing so hard. Don't worry, we let her free. She is so good at taking a joke. She can play just as hard, she keeps threatening us "I love practical jokes you guys, and my family grew up tricking each other. You just wait until graduation, I can't do anything now because I would lose my job, but payback is coming". And I believe it. I'm actually a little scared, but it will be worth it. We all had such a good laugh on April Fool's Day. If the director ever found out about all of this, or certain other professors for that matter, I'm sure we would get suspended. Nursing school is pretty strict, and our jokes are very "unprofessional". But Professor England won't tell on us, she thinks it's pretty funny too. Mind you, we're all full grown adults in my class. Ranging from 21-54 years old. I love that we are so childish, I really do! You HAVE to laugh to get through all of the stress.

This post was probably really boring for all of you to read. . . I guess you had to be there. It really was such a funny day. I hope you all played at least a little joke, or at least laughed hysterically on April Fool's Day, I sure did! 

Enjoy the pictures!

This is her starting to cut off all of the saran wrap off of her car. I blacked out her face for privacy reasons. . . but the look on her face was priceless!

 This is her office chair covered in saran wrap.

The keyboard covered in saran wrap.

Better

I know you are all hanging by the edge of your seat, wondering if I've recovered from my devil-illness (sarcasm). . . But, I have! Still not feeling 100%, but I feel somewhat like a human again. That was the weirdest illness I've ever had, and it nearly did me in. My doctor was even so concerned, he did a blood workup on me. It was bad news. Anyway, I'm feeling like my normal self besides being tired and I still have that stupid ringing in my ears, constantly. Had to post the picture above. My cute dog Lucy, has been so worried about me while I've been sick. She has been cuddled up right next to me the entire time and hasn't let me out of her sight. Such a ham!

I made it to my very last med/surg 1 clinical today. SO HAPPY! Next up: babies and crazies! I am so excited for labor & deliver, mom/baby, pediatrics, and psych. It will be a great, but busy summer! I'm not quite there yet, that semester will start at the beginning of May. I can't believe med/surg 1 clinicals are over. I have learned so much, but I am so glad to be moving on. Time is sure going by fast in the nursing program!

Not on the mend. . .

You know how I was sick and thought I was on the mend? Still sick. . . So many swear words running through my mind on how I feel about this stupid illness. Never in my life have I been so sick. Weird symptoms too. Went from tonsils, to stomach flu, to worse tonsils, to congestion, to pink eye, to coughing up a storm, to no voice, to headaches, to can't hear out of my ears. Lovely. It's been so terrible. I have missed class and work. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! I am hoping to be good as new by finals which are approaching quickly. Usually I can just push through a cold or whatever and still do my daily duties. Not with this sickness, it has kept me tied to my bed. I'm guessing it's some strain of flu that wasn't covered in this year's flu shot. I'm sorry to complain, but it's been so awful. Anyway. . . I'm still here, sick. Day 10 of this crap. At least I can talk now and I made it to class today. Still can't hear anything out of my right ear, except ringing. It's driving me CRAZY! Please cross your fingers and throw a few words up to the man upstairs that I will be back to my old self by the weekend.

I have blog posts to write regarding a fabulous concert that I attended. And of course, I have a great April Fool's Day post to write as well. Although, I want to feel good when I write them so I don't sound like such a bum. Wishing you all good health and I hope you don't get this satanic illness!

Down With The Sickness

You guys, being sick. . . sucks. Sorry, it just does. Kind of ironic for being in nursing school, I make the WORST patient. It's just that, I'm not patient enough for illness. I have stuff to do! I have been down allllllll week. It started on Sunday night but somehow I made it to my 4 hour med/surg class on Monday. And it was April Fool's day, one of my most favorite days of the year and I was sick, such a bummer. No worries, pranks were still played. ;) Monday night I went into the doctor because it felt like strep throat. Rapid strep was negative but the Dr. thought for sure it was strep so he did a throat culture and put me on penicillin. Now, if it would have been my choice, I would've just got a shot in my rear end. But no, I have to take a pill, three times a day. I found someone to cover for me at work on Tuesday because I just kept getting more sick. Throwing up (too much info.?- too bad!), fever, congestion, throat so sore that ever time I swallowed I was torn between ripping my tonsils out with my bare hands or crying. Ibuprofen and Tylenol combined wouldn't even touch the pain. Missed class on Wednesday (haven't missed a day of class since I've been in the nursing program). Felt like I just might die from sleep deprivation and pain so I went back to the doctor on Wednesday night. The sweet PA (physicians assistant) who saw me, took one look at my throat and said "oh my goodness, your tonsils are HUGE and your throat looks like raw hamburger". Yes, yes it does. "Your blood pressure is quite low, 99/65 (normal is 120/80) and you have wheezes in your lungs (pre-pneumonia)." I was almost happy to hear these things because it explained why I felt so crappy!! My throat culture still hadn't come back so we still don't know what evil sickness I have. But they put me on more antibiotics and steroids. First of all, I have never been to the doctor as many times in my whole life as I have in the past few weeks, between migraines and whatever satanic illness this is. Second of all, I don't know that I have ever been so thankful for medicine. That steroid kicked right in and I was finally able to breathe and sleep without horrible pain in my throat. I'm almost good as new. I called in sick to work today (Thursday). It was the first time I have ever called in sick to work and I have worked there for 2 1/2 years. The good news is, I think I'm finally on the mend. YAYYYYYYYYY!!!! Just in time for my twelve hour clinical tomorrow that starts at 3:00 in the morning!!

 I am hoping that by Monday, I will be 110%! I am so frustrated, I didn't have time for sickness this week. I never have time for it, really. Every single day of mine is packed full. There isn't any breathing room. It has taught me that maybe, I need to schedule in some time for my body to rest. I'm too hard on my body and if I don't take extra good care of it, I will end up here again. Regardless, I will get sick again because that's what the human body does. But hopefully, it won't ever be to the degree that it was this time. I have also learned how much I take being healthy for granted. 

I hope all of you out there in blogger world are staying healthy. Take care of yourself so you don't get this awful sickness that is floating around. I know that my new goal is to take better care of myself and to be extra grateful for my good health!! 

Here's to being healthy! Cheers! :)

Soap Box- Mental Illness.

Mental Illness is not a choice.

Here I am again, on my soap box. I apologize, I don't mean to be annoying. I work with suicidal people for a living, so it is brought to my attention more than most people. Nursing school has also enlightened me on illness prevention. I am committed to helping heal the hurt that leads to suicide. I just feel so strongly about this and I feel that we all need to be more educated! I've said it many times, but let me say it again. . . They are just people, who are sick. They are NOT weak. I really believe that we could make a difference in our communities if we were more educated on this matter. Suicide is taking too many lives. SO happy to see an article about suicide on ksl.com. It's about time we start talking about it, so we can start to help heal. 

Please read it if you get the chance. 

http://www.ksl.com/?sid=24604811&nid=1009&title=the-silence-of-suicide&fm=home_page&s_cid=queue-4 

Thank you for dealing with my many soap box rantings! :)

Almost April

I added this picture to this post because I have been studying the heart and EKGs lately, so it caught my eye and seemed appropriate. . . And it makes a good point. Every week, every year, even every day, there are ups and downs. It's life, it's the journey.

Holy cow!! It's almost April. It has been over a month since my last blog entry. I have no idea where the time went. Crazy! This year has just been flying by. I'm still trying to figure out what happened to January!?! I really don't have anything interesting to say (do I ever?), but I thought I should at least wright something down so my blog doesn't think I abandoned it. I'm here. Spring break is over, mid-semester is over, the semester is almost over. That is so crazy to me!! Then summer semester is psych, labor & delivery, peds, and mom/baby. I am so excited. Crazies and babies, two of my favorite things. I'm hitting my wall this semester. 4:00 am, twelve hour clinicals are really starting to get to me. I'm learning a  lot but I'm definitely itching for a new semester. 

Not much new with me. . . I'm reallllly ready for warm weather. Oh, and P!NK is coming to Utah!!!! I am so ecstatic about that! She wasn't going to, but added a few dates to her tour and Utah is one of them. It made my whole week. I was bummed I couldn't go see her in Vegas so to find out she is coming to Utah, makes me so happy. It's not until October though. . . oh well, something to look forward to! Hmmm, what else is new with me. . . Oh yes, my new beverage of choice is rootbeer with lemon. Yep, you heard me. It's delicious!

So, now you've wasted at least 2 minutes of your life reading this pointless blog entry. Sorry!

Daily Basis

I have to tell this to myself on a daily basis. It's going to be okay. Right? Yes. Right?

I'm really not joking. . . everyday this phrase enters my mind. Right now in my life there isn't a minute that goes by where I am "stress-free". Things are just crazy. So many crazy changes are happening in my academic life and my personal life. It's good though. My life is evolving and changing. . . and that's life isn't it? There is something beautiful about striving and struggling at the same time. Life is difficult right now, but it's a good kind of difficult. I am making changes and working towards the life I want, and while it is no doubt the hardest thing I have ever done, it is a wonderful journey.