Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Regressing?

I think I might be regressing. Seriously. I'm concerned. I'm in college, I'm an adult and yet. . . I think my maturity level is going down. Or I'm growing up? I can't decide which of the opposites it is. Is it just a college thing? I don't know. But I've definitely changed since last year but I can't quite put my finger on what this particular change is. Over the past year I feel like I've grown up in A LOT of ways but there are also many ways in which I feel that I've regressed. The regressing part is what I'm a little (a lot) concerned about. . .
Here are just a very few ways that I've changed in the past year. It would take a novel to write all the ways I have changed within the past year but here are the things that I think might be on the regressing list of my past year.-
  • I'm a bit obsessed with peace signs. I just might be turning into a hippie. Seriously though, if a piece of clothing has a peace sign, a heart, or it's tie dye, I'm sold. So while I'm dressing like a 12 year old, I'm also not caring if other people think I'm weird, I am, get over it.
  • Lately I've had the very intense desire to become a beach bum. Pack up my dr. pepper (pepsi, coke, etc, anything that comes in a caffeinated form {I'd take caffeine in an i.v. if I could}), sunscreen, hairspray, my hippie shirts, and my sunglasses and just head somewhere in the Bahamas. I'm in the mood to only be around certain people and not deal with any drama.
  • Now that my car is back I enjoy turning up the music really loud and driving. I'm not trying to be a punk but it may come across like that. If you see/hear me driving around, I'm not trying to be "cool", I just like it loud.
  • I giggle every time someone swears. Not like in movies or in music, but in person if someone cusses, I start to giggle. Can't help it.
  • Shiny things entertain me.
  • If I'm hungry/thirsty or have to pee, don't bother me because it will be like World War Three.
  • If someone is bothering me or I'm having a moment of road rage, I call them a "kadurf". It's my own made up word (I think) and I use it. Sometimes, I even call myself a "kadurf" when I'm frustrated with myself. Yes, I'm a name caller just like any other 5 year old.

Like I said, I'm pretty sure that I'm regressing. A lot of people tease me and say "you're 18 going on 89" because I tend to talk like an old person and use old fashioned phrases but now they might have to change their saying and say "you're 18 going on 6". Who knows where I fit in. Here is the biggest problem-I'm okay with this change. I'm still responsible, I still have the same beliefs, I'm just. . . different and I can't quite put my finger on what it is. It could be regressing or it could be part of growing up. I guess we'll find out.

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